Hospital - The length of time spent in the hospital will be unique and dependent on the circumstances of each individual. Being positive (while realistic) is good. People may enjoy hearing news from home and text or video messages from family who cannot visit. If the hospital allows it, having photos from home around the bed is a nice idea. Music can help with recovery, so (if allowed) it might be worth bringing in some headphones with familiar music downloaded onto a smartphone/tablet. Don't forget the charger! Reading is another good option, especially if they struggle to hold a book or their vision has been affected. Rest is essential after a stroke; if the person you're visiting falls asleep while you're there, it's still reassuring. My family visited me in ICU over the period of four months, and I have no recollection of them being there. It's worth trying to liaise with the medical teams (doctors or nurses) to get an idea of how things are going so you can clearly understand what's going on.

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Rehab - Having spent four months in the hospital, where I was unaware of anything going on, and then arriving at rehab, I suddenly had my mind blown by the long stay (four months) ahead of me. Visits from my family meant the world. I had a very full therapy schedule, but they would come in when I was free or attend therapy sessions where allowed. In some aspects, my therapy team believed that having family participate in some sessions was beneficial to my recovery. My speech therapist found that when she was teaching me to talk (after six months with a trach), having someone there to talk to gave me something to focus on and get over the coughing spasms. My physio wanted to ensure my family knew how to help me walk safely, and my OT demonstrated how to use the wheelchair I would be temporarily borrowing. As a survivor, I can 100% say it's encouraging for family and friends to participate in therapy sessions in whatever way is allowed by the individual's therapy team.

 

Having personal items brought from home is very special. Similar to what I mentioned before, photos, a tablet/smartphone, and headphones are lovely. They may be well enough to watch a film or bring something to read. I was allowed my clothes as soon as I got to rehab. Having this opportunity made a massive difference as it gave me the feeling that everyday life was beginning to return. As I said earlier, the rules will vary from place to place and depend on individual circumstances regarding what you can bring in. When it comes to the time to go home, try to chat with the therapy team regarding any necessary preparation. This will be unique to each person but could include installing grab rails around the house, handrails on the stairs, or a frame around the loo. The medical team will more than likely recommend some products that will be potentially useful, but this will depend entirely on personal needs. Please have a look at my product page for the bits I use! It might be helpful to ask for exercises that the stroke survivor can do at home if there is a delay in community therapy.

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At Home - From experience, coming home is exhausting, and rest is crucial. I wanted to return to everyday life/the normal me as soon as possible. It took a lot of help from my family (and persuasion) to realise I was overdoing it. Offering help will be appreciated, but depending on circumstances, it will vary as to the specifics of precisely what they need. There is also the balance of help versus allowing some form of independence where possible. Ideas for help could include accompanying a survivor to appointments, visiting the local community or helping around the house. Some people may require help with personal care. I was surprised at the number of things I couldn't do by myself at all or required help to do, though this does change as rehab progresses. Small things, such as pouring a glass of water or putting your socks on, are things to be proud of. "Small victories" is a phrase that takes a long time to get used to, can become frustrating to hear and is 100% a massive emotional rollercoaster. If someone seems short-tempered, forgetful, has less patience or cries more than before, that's all completely normal. They may also have limited patience and can get frustrated with themselves when they struggle to do what is usually a basic task. You must also be patient with yourself and don't get disheartened.

 

There is a balance regarding independence: too much help and not letting someone become a hermit. Sometimes, people can get overwhelmed, and once home, they begin to realise it really is a marathon, not a sprint. It can be intimidating, and the thought of being back in your old environment, but adjusting to new ways of living can be challenging. At this point you have to weigh up between letting someone rest (this is crucial) and not letting them hide at home. There is an element of tough love, but as with everything I've mentioned, each survivor is different, not only in the effects the stroke has left them with but also in how they are beginning to adjust to the (common) phrase "new you". I prefer to call it my adapted life; that way, my life has changed, but I still have my identity.

 

You may be able to get assistance from your local authority, such as help on public transport, medical equipment, and potentially financial help. It's worth looking into local charities as some provide assistance for various issues, help at home, rental mobility equipment, and some areas may have a day centre (funded by the local authority or a charity). The day centre may provide a collection and drop-off from home. They can also be good places to regain confidence socially, and you may be able to find a local support group for stroke survivors. Support groups are particularly good as they may provide some rehab activities.  

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 It may be the case that inpatient rehab is not needed. If so, organising community therapy via hospital referral or finding someone in your local area is a good idea. If there's a delay (insurance, waiting list), looking up exercises at home is a good idea. YouTube channels are pretty good, and a local stroke support group should be able to point you in the right direction. It could be helpful to offer to create a weekly schedule as it is overwhelming when you first come home. This could include times to take medications and, if needed, what to take at each time, the times for therapy sessions happening each week and, if they feel up to it, an outing to the local community. Trips in the local area could start with a cafe or shopping, then work up to something more extensive like the cinema or a sports match. As I have said throughout, every case is different, and every survivor will be left with different effects. You need to check with the medical team about how to help them and also ask your loved one. 

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One of the most essential pieces of advice I can give you is to make time for yourself so you don't get burnt out! Even if you pop out for a walk or take a five-minute breather, that's still something. 

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